Today we got up early and went sea kayaking around the island of Lopud in the Adriatic. The kayaking was supposed to be for beginners. However, the first question one of the Norwegians in our group asked us was, “So, how many years have you been kayaking?” We immediately knew we were in trouble. We’ll call this Norwegian Bjorn Borg, since we later found out he wears Bjorn Borg boxer shorts (we know this because he changed his kayaking gear multiple times throughout the journey). He’s also a fisherman in the shrimpin’ business, kind of like Forest Gump (as he put it). Bjorn informed us that he kayaks 3 to 4 times a week. This intel solidified our decision to do a two-person kayak (the thinking was that maybe two of us could keep up with one of him… though there was a huge flaw in this logic, as we found out later).
At first, Kim and I had some trouble steering the kayak. After some time, our guide noticed the rutter wasn’t working, so he just took it out of the water for us. We’ll call our guide “Chief Sungazer”. He stares directly at the sun for nourishment. His plan is to eventually be able to stare at the sun long enough so that he will never have to eat again. Sound crazy? Well apparently this is a big diet movement (go ahead and google “sungazing”). Nevermind that the science behind it makes absolutely no sense.
The first half of our journey around the island from then on was better, but we still had some minor steering problems. The weather was nice and the water was calm. Meanwhile, Bjorn was kayaking circles around us (literally). Bjorn also went back to tow his dad’s kayak a few times. Unsurprisingly, Bjorn towing a second kayak holding his dad was faster than our combined paddling efforts in one kayak.
We stopped halfway around the island for lunch. Bjorn was itching to teach us kayaking safety rules, and I was having fun with it (he was so hard core). I would casually say something like, “So… how do I get back into a single person kayak if I capsize?” He would be so eager to show us that he would immediately throw his kayak into the water from the beach, swim out, and demonstrate. As humorous as it was, I was actually appreciative because Chief Sungazer gave us absolutely no safety tips.
After lunch, the wind had picked up and the water was much rougher. Kim and I were all of a sudden having major problems steering. Chief Sungazer, seeing that we were not making much progress and were getting frustrated, offered to switch spots with me (I would take his kayak, he would hop in with Kim). I took him up on the offer. Things were great for a while. We were up against a head wind the entire back side of the island. Every time I’d look over at Kim’s boat, Chief Sungazer was doing most of the paddling and Kim was all smiles again.
Things went downhill quickly when we turned the corner for the last stretch home. We suddenly faced gale-force winds and huge waves, and for the first time I started feeling slightly fearful (for my life). As we continued forward, the waves grew more intense, and all of a sudden all of the safety rules Bjorn had taught us started cycling through my head. I was quite sure that if a big enough wave broke over my kayak, I would definitely flip and be a goner. I was so thankful Kim was with the Chief Sungazer at this point. I had no doubt they would make it in safely (besides, Bjorn had informed us earlier that two person kayaks rarely flip). So, for the next 45 minutes I did everything I could and used all my energy to make it into a beach (any beach) without my boat turning over. The waves pushed me to a neighboring beach, but I was thankful to make it in safely.
When I looked back out at the ocean, I couldn’t see Kim’s kayak. A little later, Bjorn made it into shore and told me that Chief Sungazer and Kim were just spinning in circles somewhere out there. Apparently Bjorn had offered to tow their kayak, but Chief Sungazer refused to be towed. Great. When we saw their kayak in the distance, we could see they were still struggling. Bjorn said his arms were dead, but he would go back out and rescue them. I was very appreciative, as there was nothing I could do but watch. I also knew Kim had to be dead tired (Kim – tired is not the appropriate word. I had blisters on my hands, bruises on my arms, and could barely lift my left arm at all). The waves ended up pushing them in close enough before Bjorn got out there, so no towing was needed. We noticed that Kim and Chief Sungazer were paddling the kayak in reverse the whole way. This was apparently the only way they could get the kayak to go straight.
Chief Sungazer later said to me, “Yeah, now I know what you guys were going through. That kayak had a steering problem.” He also informed us he had never been in a two person kayak. Excellent. As we left he was preparing for a 20 minute sungazing session. We chose to skip that. By the time we got back to Old Town from the ferry and bus, it was 9pm. We ate a hearty pizza dinner at Mea Culpa, took some Advil, and then went straight to bed to rest our achy muscles.
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